What is Emotional Management Fatigue?
Emotional management fatigue occurs when we continually adjust our behaviors to avoid upsetting or triggering someone else. It’s a form of fatigue that’s often hard to pinpoint, but it has real consequences. When we manage someone else’s emotions—perhaps to prevent a reaction or a meltdown—we’re taking on stress that adds up over time. While physical fatigue might come from tangible sources, emotional fatigue is sneaky and harder to identify.
For example, if one of my kids asks me for money to go downtown after school. If I hesitate to say “no” for fear of a meltdown or anger, I’m not only managing my child’s emotions but also depleting my energy reserves. This kind of emotional labor is draining and can lead to fatigue over time.
How Emotional Fatigue Overlaps with Other Fatigue Causes
It’s crucial to understand that fatigue is rarely caused by just one issue. Maybe you’ve corrected physical imbalances, like anemia, but you still feel exhausted. That lingering tiredness might have roots in emotional factors. Emotional fatigue layers on top of physical fatigue, making it even harder to detect. If you find yourself dealing with persistent tiredness despite addressing physical health issues, it’s worth considering emotional management fatigue as a potential cause.
Signs You’re Experiencing Emotional Management Fatigue
One of the clearest signs of emotional management fatigue is adjusting your behavior to keep the peace with others. Here are some common indicators:
- Avoiding Triggers: You change your responses to avoid upsetting someone else, whether it’s a child, partner, friend, or co-worker.
- Walking on Eggshells: You may feel like you have to tiptoe around certain people to prevent outbursts or temper flares.
- Feeling Responsible for Others’ Reactions: If you find yourself taking on the burden of someone else’s emotional state, you’re likely experiencing emotional management fatigue.
As psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy explains, managing another person’s emotions can lead to a buildup of stress. In one of her conversations with Dr. Andrew Huberman, they discuss how parents can fall into this pattern with children. However, these same principles apply to other relationships, like friends, partners, or family members.
Addressing Emotional Management Fatigue
So, how do you begin to resolve this emotional exhaustion? Here are a few actionable steps:
- Set Healthy Boundaries: Remember, it’s not your job to manage someone else’s emotional reactions. Healthy boundaries allow you to interact without feeling responsible for their emotions.
- Work on Self-Awareness: Notice when you’re modifying your behavior to avoid conflict or a reaction. Journaling or simply taking a mental note can help you identify patterns.
- Practice Emotional Self-Care: Regularly engage in activities that recharge your emotional well-being. This could be time alone, meditation, or hobbies that bring you joy.
The Path to Energy Renewal
Emotional management fatigue is an unseen drain on our energy that can make us feel exhausted even after we’ve addressed physical health issues. Recognizing and setting boundaries is key to overcoming this type of fatigue. When we’re not weighed down by the emotional demands of others, we free up more of our own energy, leading to a greater sense of well-being.
For those interested in learning more, I recommend listening to Dr. Becky Kennedy’s podcast episode with Dr. Andrew Huberman. It’s an insightful look at emotional health and well worth your time.
Stay tuned for the final video in this series, where I’ll cover the last cause of non-physical fatigue.
Until next time, take care of your emotional well-being and catch up on our last blog post and Youtube video about toxic relationship fatigue.