I booked the first appointment of my neurofeedback series for tomorrow. Today, I’m thinking about what I hope to get out of it. I did one trial session a few months ago. Afterward, I felt peaceful for a few hours. I’m hoping that I can find more prolonged peace with repeated sessions.
It’s not that I’m stressed all the time. But anxiety about everyday things (my to-do list, my kids’ needs, what I should make for dinner) frequently diminishes my quality of life.
In addition to more peace and calm, I would like to achieve more mental clarity. I want to get better at seeing a clear path forward when I’m trying to keep all my balls in the air. I want to be more strategic and less reactionary.
Tuesday, August 2nd
My appointment is at 11 a.m., after I do a cardio exercise class that concludes with rolling for myofascial release. I think the transition from releasing tension in my muscles to releasing tension in my brain will be a good one. By 11:40, I hope to be feeling quite mellow. Right now, I’m a little jittery, and my heart rate is elevated. I think I’m excited, but it could be my body worrying about the morning’s full schedule.
My appointment went smoothly. Kaela gently attached the five nodes and gave me the eye pillow, headphones and call button. Then I rested for 33 minutes to a relaxing soundtrack.
Afterward, I felt as if I had been sleeping. I still feel a little groggy 30 minutes later. But my mind does feel clearer. I was reading an article, and my mind didn’t wander as it sometimes does. My focus is sharper. I also don’t feel the hum of worry about things to do that I did this morning. I feel calmer, and my heart rate reflects this.
I felt calm the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. Then I started watching the Warriors game. I didn’t feel as anxious as I have in games past, but I did feel angrier and was more vocal about it. My kids and husband couldn’t believe how much I yelled. Despite this, I still feel clearer mentally.
Wednesday, August 3rd
When stressful events happened today, I felt annoyed, but my body didn’t react as strongly as it has before. Also, I had a lot of things to do today, but I didn’t feel the nervous energy I usually do when this is the case.
– – Neurofeedback Newbie